Novel Thoughts

The Legacy

2006-11-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Last year when I was home for christmas, my mom pulled out several old bibles that had belonged to my grandparents so that we could pick one out and keep it for sentimental reasons. The one that I selected was a raggedy old Scofield Referance Edition. It had an antique look to it which I thought was cool, so I put it in a ziplock bag since it was in fragile condition and brought it home where it has been sitting collecting dust. The other night I was searching through my bookshelf looking for something to read and the bible in the plastic bag caught my eye, so I pulled it out of the ziplock and started thumbing through it. Time and use have left thier mark. The spine is broken , the pages are yellowed and crumbling, and scotch tape can be found throughout trying unsuccessfully to hold everything together.

The bible is a 1917 edition KJV and has my grandmas maiden name and my grandpas name inside the front cover. As I carefully flipped through the pages and saw the time faded notes and markings it really prompted me to reflect on the role they had played in my life, both directly and indirectly. My grandma passed away when I was pretty young, about second or third grade. Although I have many great memories of her I did not have the chance to grow up with her around. My grandpa died of a stroke when I was 18 so I had the privilage of having him in my life for a longer time.

Anyways, the whole process got me thinking about legacy. Last sunday I was talking to someone visiting my church who worked with an organization called Life Choices. The founders of Life Choices are the aunt and uncle of Rachal Scott, one of the thirteen that was killed at Columbine. Her faith and compassion in life has become the foundation of a movement that has impacted thousands and thousands even in her death. That is legacy. If you don't know her story, you should do a quick search online and check it out because its powerful. My grandparents left a legacy too, one the was passed onto their children, and one they are in the process of passing on to everyone they come into contact with. Its not a legacy of physical riches or possessions, or of status and position. Its a legacy of a life lived in the pursuit of God, which was made evident in their love and compassion for people around them. Its a legacy that has and will continue to impact people forever.

I like to think of legacy as the momentum of a lifes testimony. The testimony of a life lived for Christ moves with such weight that it is carried here on earth far beyond death. If I were to die tomorrow, what would people remember me for? I like to think that someday far from now when I am long gone, the friends of my friends and the children of my children will somehow be impacted by the choices I made in my life. I have been passed on a heritage, what happens to it is up to me.

My State

2006-06-14T14:56:00.000-06:00

Coloradoans are definitely a different breed of people. When I think about the attributes of a typical Colorado person, the picture that comes to mind is a person who is successful, adventurous, active, intelligent, and "open minded". No other place in the county will you find a group of people that are as concerned about health and fitness, enjoying the outdoors, and just living the good life in general. Spiritually speaking, the people of this state also have a very distinct perspective compared to what I've seen and heard of other places. Words like skeptical, distrust, and even resentfulness and contempt are terms that come to mind when I think of the typical perception of Christianity. This is not a new revelation to me, its something that I have observed and kind of gotten used to in my time here. However, it has been reiterated to me several times lately as I have seen somewhat disappointing results with ministry attempts. The church I go to had about 25 students from Texas up in the Fort Collins area to help out with some things going on at the church and in the community. On monday they spent the evening in my neighborhood attempting to do work projects at houses throughout the neighborhood. On Sunday I spent awhile going door to door trying to get people signed up to have any type of work done at their house. After about 20 houses, and 20 polite "no thank you"s, I thought maybe just having the kids go door to door with specific jobs might be a better tactic. The jobs were simple things like window cleaning, garage cleaning, power washing, and yard work, and it was all free. We were just trying to show God's love in a really practical way as well as letting people in the neighborhood know that myself and my roommates were hear and available to help people out in any capacity they needed. After an hour and a half and probably about 100 homes, the team had washed windows at two homes, mowed two lawns, and power washed two houses. That’s just crazy to me! If someone came to my door wanting to clean my garage for me, I would be on that in a heartbeat! Talking with Scott, the youth leader of the team, he mentioned a house that they mowed for where the guy just couldn’t' wrap his mind around the fact that they were doing this with no strings attached. Why is it that people are so mistrusting of Christians? I always like to blame the televangelists and the wackos from Jonesboro who destroy peoples trust in Christians and get plenty of TV time to do it. However, while its easy to blame the problems on the people who are doing all the wrong things, the real problem is the lack of people doing the right things. I strongly believe that if the people of the Church were impacting those in their sphere of influence, not through door-to-door evangelism or letters to the editor, but by living a changed life that cannot help but cause those around them to see God's love, attitudes and hearts would be changed. I'll be the first to admit that I am guilty of being complacent. Before monday, most of my neighbors probably didn’t even know I went to church. I just know that something is going to have to change in order for us to earn the trust of and reach those around us.

Where did it go?

2006-06-06T16:32:00.000-06:00

Wow, I cannot believe it is already june. It amazes me how the older I get the quicker time seems to fly by. When I was a kid it seemed like everything was in slow motion, with year after year lazily dragging by. Now its like I can hardly blink without a month flying by. We live in such a fast paced society that has taught us that no matter where you are at in life, you could always be somewhere better. We tend to spend so much time focusing on the future that we forget to enjoy the moment that we have been given. For me, whether its the weekend, or next payday, or vactions, or whatever, I tend to get buried in what I have coming up. None of those things are bad things and there is dfinitely not anything wrong with planning ahead, I just need to learn to take life one day at a time and enjoy what God has given me now. I love the book of Ecclesiates. Solomon was a man that understood life. He had everything; wealth, stature, and wisdom, but also understood that they were meaningless in themselves.

2:10-11
I denied myself nothing me eyes desired. I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart too delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.

3:12-13
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

I need to learn to find satisfaction in what God has given me today. Its not always easy see the joy in whatever circumstances I am in, but I know it will be hard to look back and wonder where the time went when my satisfaction is found not in whats happening around me but in the God who has placed me where I am.

People

2006-03-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

There are two things we take with us when we leave this world. Our relationship with God and our relationship with people. Thats a pretty simple statement, one I've heard many times before, but it always seems to hit me at times when I have had a week like this last week. My uncle passed away last friday, and that was pretty tough. He had been pretty sick for awhile, and as of recent the outlook hadnt been good, but nobody was prepared for it to happen so soon. A week ago today I was sitting in his hospital room talking to him. Talking about how excited he was to be able to go back home and see his grandkids and be with his family in his own home. Two days later he was gone. I am extremely grateful for the last few months that we've had the opportunity to spend alot of time together, but it just makes it that much harder as well. We forget how frail and temporary we are, but when we are reminded, it is amazing how fast we realize whats really important. We are not promised tomorrow, but what we do with today can affect eternity. Thats pretty sobering when I think about how I spend alot of my time. Anyway, I could go on but its late and I'm tired so I'll stop. I just want to be able to have this here as a reminder for myself.

Losing My Religion

2006-03-01T23:23:00.000-07:00

Today being Ash Wednesday, out of curiosity Jeff and I decided to hit up Saint Josephs Catholic Church for thier Ash Wednesday mass. I've never attended any kind of catholic service before so it was a very interesting experience. From the moment I walked in I was out of my element. Everybody there seemed to know the procedure. They knew exactly when it was time to speak, when it was time to kneel, when it was time to cross their chest, etc. We just kind of hung out and observed. I am certain that there are many catholics who really believe the gospel, and have had thier lives transformed by it, but just watching people I am also sure that there are a bunch who were there just because that was where they were supposed to be on Ash Wednesday. They sure knew what to say, and what to do, but really they we're caught up in symbolic, religious expressions that held no meaning. That is what happens when you depend on the power of man to play a role in salavation. Things get fake in a hurry. I'm pretty sure we suffer the same problem in "our church" as well, maybe not as explicitly, but we still do it. I'm as guilty as any of going through the motions sometimes because thats what I am supposed to do. Tradition and symbolism are great as long as thier sole purpose is to direct our attention to God, but the problem is humans are creatures of habit and we tend to forget why we do things and focus on the fact that we are supposed to be doing them. But anyway, the whole purpose of this day is to be a day of penitence; a day where we show remorse and regret for our sin. It sure doesnt do any good if we spend one day a year being remorseful for our sin, but I think its a good reminder of something we should be doing constantly. Godly sorrow brings repentance ...

I am glad I went. Catholic churches are just really cool to me. I love stained glass, I love the solemn reverant feel I get when I go in, and I think all the symbolic stuff they have is cool, just not as an object of worship. Oh, and the lady who put the ash cross on my forhead forgot what she was supposed to say halfway through and had to start over. We both started laughing during what was supposed to be a pretty solem moment. I thought that was funny. Being involved in the mass was a little awkward at times but even in that setting God convicted me of things in my life. Losing my Religion, not only the title of an R.E.M. song but also my commitment to not hold onto anything besides the gospel of Jesus Christ, nothing else matters.

On kind of a whole seperate note, Scientology is one of those most wack religions I have ever heard of. I've always known they were kind of on the crazy side just listening to Tom Cruise in some of his intervews, but I started reading this article in Rolling Stone about them and I am pretty astounded. Here is a little excerpt:

They assert that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord named Xenu controlled 76 planets in this corner of the galaxy, each of which was severly overpopulated. To solve this problem, Xenu rounded up 13.5 trillion beings and then flew them to earth, where they were dumped into volcanoes around the globe and vaporized with bombs. This scattered their radioactive souls, or Thetans, until they were caught up in electric traps set up around the atmosphere and "implanted" with a number of false ideas - including the concepts of God, Christ, and organized religion
Inside Scientology, Rolling Stone, March 2006

I don't even know what to say to that. Everything about the religion is hush hush. You have to be a trusted member who signs legal contracts before they let you know all the secrets. Certian files have to be read in locked rooms and transported in locked briefcases, its just weird. The founder, L. Ron Hubbard, was a science fiction writer. How else would they come up with some of this stuff? By the way, L. Ron Hubbard is dead now.

This post is dedicated to Jaclyn, Ben, and Dana

2006-02-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not writing anything in the last month. I won't even try to make any exuses or anything. Overall, february was a pretty laid back month. There has been plenty of fun and exciting stuff going on, but I'm pretty sure that some of the happenings of the last several months have skewed my perspective on what is "eventful". I guess overall it has been nice to have things relatively calm. Anyway, although I don't really have anything deep or compelling to say, here is a couple of recent happenings.

My poor dog is pretty pitiful right now. She gashed her foot on piece of gutter in the back yard while playing with a neighbors dog.
In a few short seconds she went from this:

to this

Man, it's a pain. Not only is it pretty expensive to take a dog to emergency vet hospital in the middle of the night, but i have to give her medicine she hates at certain times during the day, have to keep her bandage fresh, have to wrap her foot in plastic every time she goes outside so it doesnt get wet, have to keep her quiet, etc. Anyone who knows Indy knows she hates to keep quiet. Everytime I leave I have to put that stupid cone collar on her so she can't mess with her foot. She hates that too. The sad part is because of where the cut is at, it's gonna take a long time to heal. It's going to be a long month or so...

On a lighter note, I got a package in the mail from the fam for V-day just cause they are cool like that and feel sorry for me because I don't have a girlfriend. Anyway, the package was a box of authentic turkish delight, from Turkey and all. Its really not bad, but of all the things that Edmund could've asked the witch for, i don't think its first choice worthy. Its pretty much just a lump of sugar coated in powdered sugar. I can handle about one and then I need a break. Regardless, it made my day getting it in the mail, so thanks Mom, Joy, and William.

Turkish Delight
(It's my favorite thing) It's my favorite thing
Turkish Delight
(All I want to do) What I wouldn't do, what I wouldn't do
Turkish Delight
(It's my favorite thing) It gets me every time
Turkish Delight
(All I want to do) What I wouldn't give, what I wouldn't give
(What I wouldn't do for her?)
Turkish Delight - David Crowder Band

For Nurt's birthday we were able to go up to winter park on a friday night and crash in a sweet condo the Parrots had rented for the weekend. It is so nice being able to wake up at 7 in the morning and be ten minutes from the mountian instead of the usual 5:30 AM with a 3+ hour drive depending on traffic. It was probably the absolute coldest day I have ever boarded. I thought my face was gonna fall off. We still had alot of fun though and got to catch a little of Kyser and Kohl competing with Team Summit. There was a couple other fun boarding trips as well. I got to go up with my brother Matt while he was out here. He's pretty much a crazy natural born snowboarder. Iv'e also heard Dana is getting getting pretty good as well, she's talking like olympics in 2010 and crazy stuff like that (-; While we are on the subject of boarding, Jeff and I did some night long boarding last weekend in a neighborhood by the foothills. It's a blast! We need to do it more often. Its alot like snowboarding except the frictional coefficient between asphalt and skin is a little higher than that of snow and skin. I don't even remember what frictional coefficient really means but I felt cool saying it and I'm sure you got the point.

My little bro Anthony and his wife Clara closed on a house in Spokane, WA this week so congratulations to them. Rumour has it that they are planning a trip out to CA at the end of april so I will get to fly out there for a few days and meet the nephew! And speaking of California, June's surfing road trip to Cali is a little too far away for me to be this excited about it. Maybe its just the fact that it was 70 degree's yesterday, but my brain is thinking it should be summer time and I should find a beach. We have our beach campsite all reserved for the week of june 24th through the 29th and its gonna be flippin incredible.

Well, I think that's that. Pretty shallow post, but sometimes it is fun to be shallow. You should try it sometime.

Here nor There

2006-01-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

Man, I have been slacking off on my blog. Its not that I don’t have anything to write about … I’m just too lazy to sit down and get it on “paper”. Problem is that at the moment I have the motivation but most of the cool things I wanted to write about have slipped my mind. So, here is a couple that I remember.

God has been teaching me a lot about contentment lately. Contentment not only as in accepting where God has placed me right now, but also as in seeing the potential of where he has placed me. I think way to often I want God to introduce me to something new and exciting, and fail to realize all the opportunities he has given me where I am at. Why do I think that I can handle something new and exciting if I can’t even be faithful with what I have been given? No matter where I am at in life there will always be people around me with needs, and I need to practice being faithful with that. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much…” – Luke 16:10

If you want to be reminded of the depravity of the human race, you should check out the movie Hotel Rwanda. Not only will it leave you amazed at the evil that we are capable of perpetrating against each other, but also the apathy that allows us to sit back and not care. I watch movies like that and my heart is broken for people, and then I stop and wonder why its takes something like that to compel a sense of urgency to share Jesus. Sin may change faces across cultures and across time but the heart problem that condemns us remains constant. I guess what I am saying is that I hate having to be shocked into caring. That’s what apathy does to us. It basically puts us to sleep to what is going on around us.

My older brother Matt has been in town the last couple of days. It’s been pretty cool to be able to spend some time with him. He is an exceptional artist and his latest thing has been doing custom paint jobs on automotive stuff back in Cali. I thought I’d toss up a couple pictures of his wares.

Last but not least, the comeback word of the month is ‘Rad’. Words such as “cool”, “awesome”, “money”, and “sweet” all have their place, but I believe rad has gone through its obligatory hiatus from the slang vocabulary and is due for reintroduction. So as you go through your normal week, look for situations where this great word can be properly applied, such as “Ben, that pink shirt your wearing is rad”, or “Jeff, that Frontside Corkscrew Fakie with a Stale Fish on the Reverse was radical”.

Fun & Games

2006-01-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by Jeff, so here's to learning something new about me...

Four jobs you have had in your life:
Porter (car mover) at Spradley Barr Ford
HVAC Installer with three differant companies (Air Comfort, NCA, and Gibson Heathing and Air)
World Class Chef at Lone Star Steakhouse & Saloon
Web Developer at Total Benchmark Solution

Four movies you would watch over and over:
Godfather I (Ive actually only seen it once, but I think I could watch it many more times)
Napolean Dynamite
Oceans 11
Pirates of the Carribean

Four places you have lived:
Portland, OR
Salida, CA
Auburn, CA
FoCo CO

Four TV shows you love to watch:
House, probably the best show ever. Dr. House is one of my personal heros.
The Simpsons
Seinfeld
Channel 13 news with Ron Zappollo and Libbey Weaver, stayin' classy

Four places you have been on vacation:
Santa Cruz, CA
Modesto, CA
Yellowstone
Mt. Rushmore

Four websites I visit daily:
Yahoo for news and email
blogspot.com
Im gonna count iTunes music store as a website
development server for work

Four of my favorite foods:
A good ribeye
Cheesecake
Beau Jo's Pizza
Crab Legs & Lobster Tail (Ultimate Feast at Red Lobster rocks)

Four places I would rather be right now:
On a california beach
Snowboarding at Copper, Winter Park, or Steamboat
Fishing the Big T
New Zealand

So, every blogger I know except for Ben and Jaclyn have already been tagged with this one, so smack, you two are tagged.

Mad Shredding

2006-01-07T23:43:00.000-07:00

I finally made it up the mountain today to do a little bit of snowboarding. Jeff and I battled the I-70 traffic to make it up to Copper on what turned out to be a beautiful day. The crowds were out en masse but riding the top and back of the mountain and hitting up the singles lines kept us from spending too much time waiting in line. Snowboarding is one of the few things that I will drag myself out of bed pre-sunrise for. Whether its cruising powder through the trees, the rush of dropping off into the copper bowl, or hitting sweet jumps in the kiddie terrain park because I am too chicken to hit the real ones, I can think of no better way to spend a Saturday. Anyway, that’s one day down, and at least seven more to go.

On the way up the mountain we listened to a CD by Derek Webb (of Caedmons Call) called The House Show. This guy is an incredible songwriter and between songs he spends time explaining his thoughts behind the song. One thing he talked about that really struck me was the fact that Christians today are living in fear of being exposed. We are crippled and made ineffective by the sin in our lives that we are so ashamed of we will go to no end to keep it hidden. It’s crazy, because I know how true this has been in my own life. What’s been amazing for me though is to find out that when I allow myself to be transparent before others, I quickly learn that I am not the only one that struggles, and that opens up accountability lines and allows me to pray for others and be prayed for. If we could battle for each other because we really knew each other, I think God could use that in incredible ways in our lives, our churches, and our world.

Most Random Thing Ever

2006-01-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

Probably one of the most random things ever in my life happened today. It all started after church, when I got a phone call from my friend Micheal while I was packing up my guitar stuff. He told me I should come out into the parking lot and check out "this sweet ride". Keep in mind my church is a little country church out in the foothills, with a small gravel parking area. The sweet ride turned out to be a very old school red double decker bus from England. An english family at our church bought this bus off of ebay while still living in England, and somehow managed to ship it overseas, and drive it to the mountains of Colorado. It was pretty incredible. The bus still had the advertising on the sides and back from England. Anyway, we got to take a ride (sitting in the top deck of course), and I have to say that I was very impressed with the way the beast of a bus handled on little mountian roads. I wish I would have had my camera. Anyway, I just thought I would share that.

Investing

2005-12-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

My uncle, aunt, and cousins have lived 45 minutes north of me for the last 10 years. I can count on two hands the number of times I have seen them in those 10 years. About a month ago something terrible happened. A bad situation arose with my cousin Josh and an ex girlfriend and events that took place resulted in Josh being shot to death by police. Its just a bizarre, tragic situation. None of it had to have happened and things had to go just wrong to end like it did. Its one of those things in life that just blindsides you, leaving you kind of numb. I hurt for my aunt and uncle. What hurts just as bad though is that they’ve been right in my backyard for so long and I’ve never made an effort at relationship. About the only good thing that has come out of this tragedy is the fact that it has brought the family closer together, at least for me. Its pretty sad though that it takes circumstances like this to do it. I could have invested myself in the life of my cousin but in this case there is no second chance. Its easy for me to rationalize by saying I was too busy or they were too far away, but basically what it boils down to is I was completely selfish and just didn’t care. I have been blessed in my life with so many people who have cared enough about me to invest in me. I want to do the same for others. Yeah its not always convenient and easy, but it can have eternal reward. So, as I finish writing this up I am getting ready to head up to Cheyenne to hang out with my aunt and uncle. I almost decided not to go, thinking there were all kinds of things I could be doing at home. Its amazing how selfish I can be …

Prospect 06'

2005-12-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

In light of Retrospect 05’, I’ve been thinking a lot about what the upcoming year will hold, what my goals will be, and what things I might try to change. As was probably obvious in my retrospect post, I have found my self becoming slightly unsettled with the routine of being a normal working guy. I think one of the things I loved most about college was the constant change. At least twice a year the contents of my average day would be switched up. Some semesters I would have early classes, and some semesters I got to sleep in. Some classes were interesting and exciting, and some classes were designed for catching a nap (something I don’t do very gracefully at a desk). The point is, there was always something different going on and I liked it. I have been thinking of what I could do to make my now predictable life a little more spontaneous and here is a couple of alternatives I have come up with.

Alternative #1: I just finished another book by Donald Miller called “Through Painted Deserts”. Basically, this book is a memoir of a road trip taken by Don and a buddy of his named Paul. Without going into more detail, this book has instilled in me the desire to do the following:
First, I would quit my job and sell my house and most everything else I own. Next I would trade in my Blazer for some sort of van, preferably a VW. I would also have to convince one of my buddies to get in on this (Jeff is usually down for stuff like this). So, with my van, my buddy, and my guitar, I would just start driving. There would be no specific destination and no pre selected routes. We would just drive. In the winter we would hit ski resorts all over Northern America. In the summer we would surf any beach we could get our hands on. If we ran out of money we would work odd jobs. Living in a van down by the river can’t be that expensive can it? I would be hippie. Not in the free love, free mind sense, but in the free spirit sense. So, that’s alternative #1.

Alternative #2 is inspired by a movie I recently saw and is probably a bit more of a stretch, but doable. The movie: Godfather part 1. Yes, I would like to be a gangster. Not a gansta, a gangster. The location of the dynasty would of course be Fort Collins, Colorado. Now, family is important in the mob, and I don’t think I would be able to convince my family to get involved. So, Jeff, Brent, and I will be sort of an artificial family. Hopefully several other crime families would move their operations into the area since being a gangster really wouldn’t be any fun without rivals. We are not quite sure yet of what kind of illicit criminal activities we will be involved in. If I did know, I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway, since we never speak of family business outside of the family.

Now, in case either of those options just don’t work out, I also have some scaled back goals that will probably help satisfy my need for adventure.

Climb Longs Peak. We tried once and failed. It won’t happen again.
Snowboard a lot. Winter 05’ was the first year in about 6 I haven’t been up before Christmas. I am disappointed in myself…
Be a better guitar player. Yes, I am a music dork and consider guitar an adventure.
Complete a successful elk hunt (that’s a nice way of saying “shoot an elk”)
Try Surfing in CA

This list is by no means final or set in stone. I guess when all is said and done; my greatest desire is to participate in the adventure of knowing God and being where He wants me to be. Unlike every thing else I’ve mentioned, that’s the one adventure that never ends and never gets boring.

Why I Love Christmas

2005-12-29T22:47:00.000-07:00

Man, I love Christmas. From the end of November to the end of December it’s pretty much impossible to be sad about anything. The lights, the trees, the music; they are all things I wish I could have year round. This Christmas, like the last few, was spent with the fam in California. I wish I could say it was warm and sunny but it was actually dreary and rainy the whole time I was there, while good ole Fort Collins was experiencing awesome weather. Even though it was cold, I still had to go swimming in my parent’s pool at least once. The water temperature was 50 degrees, and I lasted in it about 15 seconds. It sure gives me a lot more respect for the people who like to go swimming in frozen lakes. They are either really tough or just really desperate for attention. Christmas day was awesome as usual. Family, prime rib, and pie pretty much make for a perfect day. One of the nice things about having a little brother and sister is that even though I am old enough that all I get is the practical gifts, I still get to play with hot wheels and legos all day. The coolest thing about Christmas this year is that more than ever, I have a deepened appreciation for Jesus. How incredible is it for the creator of the universe to have loved me enough to confine himself to a human body for the sole purpose of experiencing the most excruciating death possible. Without the love of God there would be no birth of the Son. Without the birth of the Son there would be no death of the perfect sacrifice, and without the resurrection there would be no victory over the curse of sin and the eternal separation from God it causes. The miracle of my salvation began with a baby who was God. That blows my mind, and that’s why I love Christmas.

Retrospect 05'

2005-12-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

2005 was a huge year for me. I look back over the course of the last three hundred and sixty some days, and I am amazed at life. It has brought cool new experiences, shocking truths, surreal circumstances, and a whole slew of other things.

Heres a quick rundown of the major happenings (not in any specific order):
1. I bought a house
2. I broke up with my girlfriend of two years
3. Brother gets engaged, brother gets married, brother and wife have a baby. I am an uncle, my mom is a grandma, my dad is a grandpa. Feels weird, but cool.
4. I leave Immanual Community Church, my church of five years, to be part of a core group for a new church plant.
5. I make Canyon Ridge Baptist (church plant mentioned above) my new church home.
6. My cousin in Cheyenne was shot and killed in a confrontation with police
7. Other stuff I don't even feel like writing about.

On top of those major things there were also a lot of minor things, like adjusting to the graduated life and work being a crazy but rewarding experience. I've met a ton of new people, and have experienced a ton of new things. I don't usually stress but I have stressed. I don't usually worry but I have worried. I don't usually cry but I have cried. Im not usually melodramatic but right now I am being melodramatic. I promise to stop very soon... I guess this is really the first year I've felt the pressure to act grown up. Things like making house payments and working the 8 to 5 just don't seem as natural as ditching class to go fishing and taking naps in the afternoon because I was up till 4 the morning before. I have nothing against maturity, I just never want to get the point where I do things just to do them. I know that probably sounds pretty vague but it makes perfect sense in my mind. God designed life to be an adventure, and I feel sad for people live only for the things they are required to do. I feel sad for the people who don't know God and don't understand what the true purpose to life is. I feel sad for the people who do know God and are so stuck in tradition and pre-defined thinking that they never get to experience the dynamic and aliveness of who He really is.

So, since Ive rambled so much, Im going to sum up what this year has taught me in two statements:
1. Life is not a constant, but life is GOOD. Good things happen, bad things happen, but God does not change. He is alive. He moves. He works. He changes hearts. He gives. He takes away. He wants us to be happy, but happy in Him. Look for happiness in Him and the rest will follow (and keep in mind happiness isn't always based on circumstances).
2. I'm as grown up as I want to be. If life requires more maturity than this, then I guess I will have to settle for lack thereof.

Coming soon: Prospect 06'

Love as a Commodity

2005-12-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that I don't really know what real love is. I'm not talking just about romantic love (which is probably a whole separate topic), but love in general. I have been thinking of what my action based definition of love is. Not my sunday school answer, and not what sounds good, but how I live it. This is what it eventually boils down to (kind of hurts to say it):

I love when it is convenient for me to love. Convenience can encompass all sorts of thing, but generally it comes down to compatibility. For instance, I have cool roommates and find it easy to love them because they share a lot of my interests, are laid back, and don't have personality types that clash with mine. On the flip side, there are the ones I don't love. One example is the homeless dude/aspiring songwriter who is lit up (vodka judging by his breath), and wants to talk about Christopher Reeves and comic books while I am trying to eat lunch in a restaurant with a bunch of friends. Theres the people that I purposely avoid because for one reason or another we don't click. There is probably a hundred other reasons why I might selectively choose to love or not love someone. Are you comfortable to be around? Do you make me feel good about myself? Are you cool? Do you smell funny? And the list goes on …

Blue Like Jazz is one of my favorite books. If you haven't read it you need to. Donald Miller, the author, has such an incredible "out of the box" perspective on what it means to be a Christian. One of his conclusions is that people in general, but especially Christians, have gotten to the point (or maybe have always been at the point) where we treat love as a commodity. Love is an item that is ours to give. It can be bought, sold, traded. It can be given away and it can be rescinded. We are the masters of our love. I can think of no greater analogy of how I feel about myself. That describes my demonstration of love towards others to a T (whatever "to a T" means).

The worst part of it all is that not only is this my personal experience, it fits the mold of how I have seen love represented in the Church my whole life. We like to talk about Agape and what it means for God to love us unconditionally, but we stink at practicing it. Why do we stink at practicing it? We are human, and because we are human it is engrained in us to be selfish. The selfishness of our sinful nature and the selflessness of the love we are called to represent are at war with each other, and collectively as the Body of Christ we are losing. The fact that we are losing is evidenced by how a non-believing world perceives us. I remember times in the past when I was a student at CSU and the fact that I went to a Baptist church would come up in conversation and the person I was talking to was immediately turned off to the topic. I’m pretty sure the reason is that we are so good as Christians at telling people what is wrong with them and then being totally fake with our own lives. Jesus hung out the sinners and outcasts of his time. His love wasn’t condescending, wasn’t based on convenience, it was real.

So what’s the solution? I've thought about this quite a bit and have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try to love the right way, I always fall short, and eventually just quit trying. I have also come to the conclusion that as weird as it sounds, for me to quit trying might be a step in the right direction.

1 Cor. 3:18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Jerry Bridges notes in his book The Discipline of Grace that "transformed" is a passive verb, something that is done to us, not something we do to ourselves. My capacity to love is a condition of my heart, which is rotten to the core. The exciting thing is, is that I know the One who can and who is changing my heart. The more he does, the more I will reflect the Lord's glory, and his love! It’s the unnatural becoming natural. How cool is that! I also take comfort that like Paul says in Philippians, Christ has begun the good work and he's not gonna leave it half finished. The only thing that is up to me is how fast that transformation is going to take place.

And the beat goes on

2005-12-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

So I have been compulsively buying CD's the last couple of weeks, like seven of them. I guess I just love music ... alot.

Heres the list, in order of purchase:
The Great Divide - Former lead singer of Creed, Scott Stapp's first solo project. A little dissapointing. Just not the same without Mark Tremonti there to back him up.

One Day Remains by Alter Bridge - Kind of funny, this is Creed without Scott Stapp. I guess I just needed some closure after I bought Stapp's album. Very good cd, the new lead singer has kind of a Chris Cornell from his Soundgarden era sound.

Greatest Hits by The Band - Probably some of the greatest and most unique classic rock in the history of the world.

Leave a Whisper by Shinedown - Not bad but not that great. Thier two radio play songs are by far the best songs on the album. However, they do have a pretty money acoustic version of Skynards song, Simple Man

Decade by Neil Young - I've always liked Neil Young, just never owned anything of his. This 2 disc set has 35 songs from 1966-1976. Good Stuff.

Strong Tower by Kutless - Awsome worship album. Combines Kutless's intense and driving sound with some standard worship songs as well as a couple originals.

Clean by Shane Barnard and Shane Everett - You just can't beat Shane Barnard, his music never disappoints me. Ive seen him live a couple of times, and not only is he probably one of the greatest acoustic guitar players I know, it is so evident that everything he does it all about Jesus.

So there it is, 7 albums, approximately 90 songs, I think that should tide me over for awhile.

Probably the coolest nephew ever

2005-12-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am going to dedicate my first post to my new nephew. I would have to say that second to myself, he is probably the cutest kid ever born (some people mis-interpret my honesty for arrogance). Its still kind of hard to believe that my little brother is the father of my little nephew. It also hard to think of my mom as a grandma, dad as a grandpa, 12 year old sister as an aunt, etc...
Uncle Vinny does have a ring to it ...

So, with no further delay I present Aaron Elijah Abdul Rogers

Here we go

2005-12-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

So its official ... I am now a blogger. I guess I always thought in the back of my mind that blogging was for nerds.
Maybe its just that the word "Blog" always seemed so goofy to me?
Maybe I am a nerd?
I don't know ...

Regardless, I always seem to have these random thoughts and ideas running through my head and I think how cool it would be to actually write them down so I can remember them. That being said, the intent of my blog is more to serve as a personal journal for myself that I choose to post in a public place. So, hopefully I keep up and actually write stuff here, and hopefully anybody thats reads what I write will find it thought provoking (or just plain provoking), insightful, and maybe even funny.