Investing

My uncle, aunt, and cousins have lived 45 minutes north of me for the last 10 years. I can count on two hands the number of times I have seen them in those 10 years. About a month ago something terrible happened. A bad situation arose with my cousin Josh and an ex girlfriend and events that took place resulted in Josh being shot to death by police. Its just a bizarre, tragic situation. None of it had to have happened and things had to go just wrong to end like it did. Its one of those things in life that just blindsides you, leaving you kind of numb. I hurt for my aunt and uncle. What hurts just as bad though is that they’ve been right in my backyard for so long and I’ve never made an effort at relationship. About the only good thing that has come out of this tragedy is the fact that it has brought the family closer together, at least for me. Its pretty sad though that it takes circumstances like this to do it. I could have invested myself in the life of my cousin but in this case there is no second chance. Its easy for me to rationalize by saying I was too busy or they were too far away, but basically what it boils down to is I was completely selfish and just didn’t care. I have been blessed in my life with so many people who have cared enough about me to invest in me. I want to do the same for others. Yeah its not always convenient and easy, but it can have eternal reward. So, as I finish writing this up I am getting ready to head up to Cheyenne to hang out with my aunt and uncle. I almost decided not to go, thinking there were all kinds of things I could be doing at home. Its amazing how selfish I can be …

Prospect 06'

In light of Retrospect 05’, I’ve been thinking a lot about what the upcoming year will hold, what my goals will be, and what things I might try to change. As was probably obvious in my retrospect post, I have found my self becoming slightly unsettled with the routine of being a normal working guy. I think one of the things I loved most about college was the constant change. At least twice a year the contents of my average day would be switched up. Some semesters I would have early classes, and some semesters I got to sleep in. Some classes were interesting and exciting, and some classes were designed for catching a nap (something I don’t do very gracefully at a desk). The point is, there was always something different going on and I liked it. I have been thinking of what I could do to make my now predictable life a little more spontaneous and here is a couple of alternatives I have come up with.

Alternative #1: I just finished another book by Donald Miller called “Through Painted Deserts”. Basically, this book is a memoir of a road trip taken by Don and a buddy of his named Paul. Without going into more detail, this book has instilled in me the desire to do the following:
First, I would quit my job and sell my house and most everything else I own. Next I would trade in my Blazer for some sort of van, preferably a VW. I would also have to convince one of my buddies to get in on this (Jeff is usually down for stuff like this). So, with my van, my buddy, and my guitar, I would just start driving. There would be no specific destination and no pre selected routes. We would just drive. In the winter we would hit ski resorts all over Northern America. In the summer we would surf any beach we could get our hands on. If we ran out of money we would work odd jobs. Living in a van down by the river can’t be that expensive can it? I would be hippie. Not in the free love, free mind sense, but in the free spirit sense. So, that’s alternative #1.

Alternative #2 is inspired by a movie I recently saw and is probably a bit more of a stretch, but doable. The movie: Godfather part 1. Yes, I would like to be a gangster. Not a gansta, a gangster. The location of the dynasty would of course be Fort Collins, Colorado. Now, family is important in the mob, and I don’t think I would be able to convince my family to get involved. So, Jeff, Brent, and I will be sort of an artificial family. Hopefully several other crime families would move their operations into the area since being a gangster really wouldn’t be any fun without rivals. We are not quite sure yet of what kind of illicit criminal activities we will be involved in. If I did know, I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway, since we never speak of family business outside of the family.

Now, in case either of those options just don’t work out, I also have some scaled back goals that will probably help satisfy my need for adventure.

• Climb Longs Peak. We tried once and failed. It won’t happen again.
• Snowboard a lot. Winter 05’ was the first year in about 6 I haven’t been up before Christmas. I am disappointed in myself…
• Be a better guitar player. Yes, I am a music dork and consider guitar an adventure.
• Complete a successful elk hunt (that’s a nice way of saying “shoot an elk”)
• Try Surfing in CA

This list is by no means final or set in stone. I guess when all is said and done; my greatest desire is to participate in the adventure of knowing God and being where He wants me to be. Unlike every thing else I’ve mentioned, that’s the one adventure that never ends and never gets boring.

Why I Love Christmas

Man, I love Christmas. From the end of November to the end of December it’s pretty much impossible to be sad about anything. The lights, the trees, the music; they are all things I wish I could have year round. This Christmas, like the last few, was spent with the fam in California. I wish I could say it was warm and sunny but it was actually dreary and rainy the whole time I was there, while good ole Fort Collins was experiencing awesome weather. Even though it was cold, I still had to go swimming in my parent’s pool at least once. The water temperature was 50 degrees, and I lasted in it about 15 seconds. It sure gives me a lot more respect for the people who like to go swimming in frozen lakes. They are either really tough or just really desperate for attention. Christmas day was awesome as usual. Family, prime rib, and pie pretty much make for a perfect day. One of the nice things about having a little brother and sister is that even though I am old enough that all I get is the practical gifts, I still get to play with hot wheels and legos all day. The coolest thing about Christmas this year is that more than ever, I have a deepened appreciation for Jesus. How incredible is it for the creator of the universe to have loved me enough to confine himself to a human body for the sole purpose of experiencing the most excruciating death possible. Without the love of God there would be no birth of the Son. Without the birth of the Son there would be no death of the perfect sacrifice, and without the resurrection there would be no victory over the curse of sin and the eternal separation from God it causes. The miracle of my salvation began with a baby who was God. That blows my mind, and that’s why I love Christmas.

Retrospect 05'

2005 was a huge year for me. I look back over the course of the last three hundred and sixty some days, and I am amazed at life. It has brought cool new experiences, shocking truths, surreal circumstances, and a whole slew of other things.

Heres a quick rundown of the major happenings (not in any specific order):
1. I bought a house
2. I broke up with my girlfriend of two years
3. Brother gets engaged, brother gets married, brother and wife have a baby. I am an uncle, my mom is a grandma, my dad is a grandpa. Feels weird, but cool.
4. I leave Immanual Community Church, my church of five years, to be part of a core group for a new church plant.
5. I make Canyon Ridge Baptist (church plant mentioned above) my new church home.
6. My cousin in Cheyenne was shot and killed in a confrontation with police
7. Other stuff I don't even feel like writing about.

On top of those major things there were also a lot of minor things, like adjusting to the graduated life and work being a crazy but rewarding experience. I've met a ton of new people, and have experienced a ton of new things. I don't usually stress but I have stressed. I don't usually worry but I have worried. I don't usually cry but I have cried. Im not usually melodramatic but right now I am being melodramatic. I promise to stop very soon... I guess this is really the first year I've felt the pressure to act grown up. Things like making house payments and working the 8 to 5 just don't seem as natural as ditching class to go fishing and taking naps in the afternoon because I was up till 4 the morning before. I have nothing against maturity, I just never want to get the point where I do things just to do them. I know that probably sounds pretty vague but it makes perfect sense in my mind. God designed life to be an adventure, and I feel sad for people live only for the things they are required to do. I feel sad for the people who don't know God and don't understand what the true purpose to life is. I feel sad for the people who do know God and are so stuck in tradition and pre-defined thinking that they never get to experience the dynamic and aliveness of who He really is.

So, since Ive rambled so much, Im going to sum up what this year has taught me in two statements:
1. Life is not a constant, but life is GOOD. Good things happen, bad things happen, but God does not change. He is alive. He moves. He works. He changes hearts. He gives. He takes away. He wants us to be happy, but happy in Him. Look for happiness in Him and the rest will follow (and keep in mind happiness isn't always based on circumstances).
2. I'm as grown up as I want to be. If life requires more maturity than this, then I guess I will have to settle for lack thereof.

Coming soon: Prospect 06'

Love as a Commodity

I have come to the conclusion that I don't really know what real love is. I'm not talking just about romantic love (which is probably a whole separate topic), but love in general. I have been thinking of what my action based definition of love is. Not my sunday school answer, and not what sounds good, but how I live it. This is what it eventually boils down to (kind of hurts to say it):

I love when it is convenient for me to love. Convenience can encompass all sorts of thing, but generally it comes down to compatibility. For instance, I have cool roommates and find it easy to love them because they share a lot of my interests, are laid back, and don't have personality types that clash with mine. On the flip side, there are the ones I don't love. One example is the homeless dude/aspiring songwriter who is lit up (vodka judging by his breath), and wants to talk about Christopher Reeves and comic books while I am trying to eat lunch in a restaurant with a bunch of friends. Theres the people that I purposely avoid because for one reason or another we don't click. There is probably a hundred other reasons why I might selectively choose to love or not love someone. Are you comfortable to be around? Do you make me feel good about myself? Are you cool? Do you smell funny? And the list goes on …

Blue Like Jazz is one of my favorite books. If you haven't read it you need to. Donald Miller, the author, has such an incredible "out of the box" perspective on what it means to be a Christian. One of his conclusions is that people in general, but especially Christians, have gotten to the point (or maybe have always been at the point) where we treat love as a commodity. Love is an item that is ours to give. It can be bought, sold, traded. It can be given away and it can be rescinded. We are the masters of our love. I can think of no greater analogy of how I feel about myself. That describes my demonstration of love towards others to a T (whatever "to a T" means).

The worst part of it all is that not only is this my personal experience, it fits the mold of how I have seen love represented in the Church my whole life. We like to talk about Agape and what it means for God to love us unconditionally, but we stink at practicing it. Why do we stink at practicing it? We are human, and because we are human it is engrained in us to be selfish. The selfishness of our sinful nature and the selflessness of the love we are called to represent are at war with each other, and collectively as the Body of Christ we are losing. The fact that we are losing is evidenced by how a non-believing world perceives us. I remember times in the past when I was a student at CSU and the fact that I went to a Baptist church would come up in conversation and the person I was talking to was immediately turned off to the topic. I’m pretty sure the reason is that we are so good as Christians at telling people what is wrong with them and then being totally fake with our own lives. Jesus hung out the sinners and outcasts of his time. His love wasn’t condescending, wasn’t based on convenience, it was real.

So what’s the solution? I've thought about this quite a bit and have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try to love the right way, I always fall short, and eventually just quit trying. I have also come to the conclusion that as weird as it sounds, for me to quit trying might be a step in the right direction.

1 Cor. 3:18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Jerry Bridges notes in his book The Discipline of Grace that "transformed" is a passive verb, something that is done to us, not something we do to ourselves. My capacity to love is a condition of my heart, which is rotten to the core. The exciting thing is, is that I know the One who can and who is changing my heart. The more he does, the more I will reflect the Lord's glory, and his love! It’s the unnatural becoming natural. How cool is that! I also take comfort that like Paul says in Philippians, Christ has begun the good work and he's not gonna leave it half finished. The only thing that is up to me is how fast that transformation is going to take place.

And the beat goes on

So I have been compulsively buying CD's the last couple of weeks, like seven of them. I guess I just love music ... alot.

Heres the list, in order of purchase:
The Great Divide - Former lead singer of Creed, Scott Stapp's first solo project. A little dissapointing. Just not the same without Mark Tremonti there to back him up.

One Day Remains by Alter Bridge - Kind of funny, this is Creed without Scott Stapp. I guess I just needed some closure after I bought Stapp's album. Very good cd, the new lead singer has kind of a Chris Cornell from his Soundgarden era sound.

Greatest Hits by The Band - Probably some of the greatest and most unique classic rock in the history of the world.

Leave a Whisper by Shinedown - Not bad but not that great. Thier two radio play songs are by far the best songs on the album. However, they do have a pretty money acoustic version of Skynards song, Simple Man

Decade by Neil Young - I've always liked Neil Young, just never owned anything of his. This 2 disc set has 35 songs from 1966-1976. Good Stuff.

Strong Tower by Kutless - Awsome worship album. Combines Kutless's intense and driving sound with some standard worship songs as well as a couple originals.

Clean by Shane Barnard and Shane Everett - You just can't beat Shane Barnard, his music never disappoints me. Ive seen him live a couple of times, and not only is he probably one of the greatest acoustic guitar players I know, it is so evident that everything he does it all about Jesus.

So there it is, 7 albums, approximately 90 songs, I think that should tide me over for awhile.

Probably the coolest nephew ever

I am going to dedicate my first post to my new nephew. I would have to say that second to myself, he is probably the cutest kid ever born (some people mis-interpret my honesty for arrogance). Its still kind of hard to believe that my little brother is the father of my little nephew. It also hard to think of my mom as a grandma, dad as a grandpa, 12 year old sister as an aunt, etc...
Uncle Vinny does have a ring to it ...

So, with no further delay I present Aaron Elijah Abdul Rogers

Here we go

So its official ... I am now a blogger. I guess I always thought in the back of my mind that blogging was for nerds.
Maybe its just that the word "Blog" always seemed so goofy to me?
Maybe I am a nerd?
I don't know ...

Regardless, I always seem to have these random thoughts and ideas running through my head and I think how cool it would be to actually write them down so I can remember them. That being said, the intent of my blog is more to serve as a personal journal for myself that I choose to post in a public place. So, hopefully I keep up and actually write stuff here, and hopefully anybody thats reads what I write will find it thought provoking (or just plain provoking), insightful, and maybe even funny.